Lovers Regret
by 8thweasleykid
Summary: During Albus Severus sorting Severus Snape notices that the boy looks nothing like a Potter and little like a Weasley. Will he tell his old flame he's aware of the boys true parantage? Read and find out. One Shot!


_**Disclaimer: I do not own the world of HP**_

_**I thought of this while I was doing laundry, hope you enjoy.**_

_There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy – Jean Anouilh_

_You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it. - Anonymous_

Lover's Regret

I knew the very moment I saw him at the sorting that he was my child. His silky black hair, pale skin, though he does have his mothers blue eyes, and thankfully her nose as well. I wonder if he suspects, obviously not, otherwise Mrs. Potter would now be a Miss. Weasley. That is unless he simply decided to overlook it. Perhaps he did not want to break up his family. At the time they already had one son together, and then had a daughter a year after Albus Severus was born. They named her Lily, excellent choice in my opinion, I saw her shopping with Ginny in Diagon Alley last year; she looks just like her mother.

Back to my son, who even bares my name? Potter still sees me as some sort of hero, which is apparently why he named his son after me, though I doubt he would hold me in such high regard if he knew I was bonking his wife for over two years. She called it off right after she found out she was pregnant with Albus. I figured it was Potters and she just couldn't handle the thought of continuing the affair after having yet another child with him. Obviously that was not the case.

Should I ask her? What would it matter, she would just deny the fact ,but how can she? But do I really want to ruin her marriage. She does love Potter, or so she would tell me, so why did I peruse her? She was simply a very attractive young woman, and she was Potters. Yes. I took her from Potter just as his father stole Lily from me. That's the reason, the only reason, just keep telling yourself, Severus. Revenge, it was always about revenge.

***********

It was as I feared, Albus was sorted into Slytherin. It didn't seem to bother Harry at all however and in fact mentioned that he even reassured Albus before he got on the train that if that was where he was sorted, then Slytherin would have gained a fine student. I don't think he suspects Albus isn't his, or at least he hasn't admit it if he does. I wonder if Severus has an idea now that he has not only seen him, but watched him be sorted into his house. He didn't take it well when I broke it off with him, but I just couldn't take the chance of losing my family. I love my husband and children, and as much as I care for Severus, I wasn't willing to risk my family.

***********

So I sent her a letter requesting she meet me at the Hogshead this Wednesday at 8. I doubt she'll show, but I had to try. I need to know for sure, I need to hear it from her lips. I won't threaten to tell Potter or Albus Severus. I'll keep her secret, but I still need to know.

He was in my class today. He's a natural at potions, of course, he's my son, and I would expect nothing less. I also noticed he seems to be developing a friendship with Scoripus; it should defiantly be interesting to see how Potter and Draco will react to it. I heard them talking about Quidditch before class started, they both desire to be seekers, though Albus said he wouldn't mind being a Chaser like his mother. Ginny played professional Quidditch for a few years, and did very well in fact, but eventually decided to settle down and marry Potter.

I remember the first time I saw her after she graduated. It was three years later, I headed into Flourish and Blots to pick up a book I had ordered and I saw her, well I saw her hair. It's so much like Lily's. She was looking down the parenting isle, and upon getting a closer look I could see why, she was pregnant. I decided to say hello. She was pleasantly surprised to see me and even smiled at my presence. She asked me what I had been up to, and of course I told her the same as always, teaching, that was when she invited me to have a bite to eat.

We talked for hours that afternoon, topics ranging from the changes at Hogwarts, to how the ministry was now being run and even a bit about our personal lives. She mentioned that Potter sometimes talked about me, wondering how I was and so on. He still seems to have that 'saving people' complex. He saved my physical being after I was bitten, so know he thinks he has to save emotional self as well. Fat chance!

Before we went our separate ways she said something to me that would forever change my heart. "I never thought you were a traitor, professor. I could see the truth in your eyes. I never doubted your loyalty, even after you killed Dumbledore. I just knew there had to be a reason."

I knew, at that very moment, I had to see her again.

*********

I can hardly believe I am actually here, sitting at a table, at the far end of the Hogshead. Harry thinks I'm out with Luna, lord I hope he doesn't floo call her house. I'm so nervous; I haven't seen him in years. Maybe I should forget this whole thing and head home to Harry. If I see him I may……I don't want to think about it.

"Ginny." Oh his voice is a deep and smooth as ever. I turned towards him, he looked great.

"Hello Severus." I gave a small smile which he returned, then sitting down in the chair next to me.

"I was worried you may not show up."

"I almost didn't."

"You do know why I asked you to meet me, correct?"

I nodded. "Albus Severus." I said softly.

"Ginny, he's mine, isn't he?" His voice quivered a bit when he asked me.

I looked up into his deep dark eyes and answered him honestly. "Yes." A tear of guilt ran down my cheek.

******

I could never stand to see her cry. I wiped away her tears with my thumb and then cupped her face in my hand. Merlin her skin was so soft.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I did not want to break up my family, or hurt Harry, he had already had such a difficult life I-I just couldn't hurt him."

"I understand. I don't want to break up your family either."

"So, you-you won't say anything to-to Harry or Albus."

I shook my head and she took a breath of relief. "He is a wonderful boy Ginny, very talented in Potions, unlike his brother and father." I just had to add the last part, she laughed.

"I know. Severus, you-you should think about finding someone, someone you can settle down with and….

"Have a family with." I finished her sentence, she nodded.

Gently I took her hand in mine and looked deep into her bright blue eyes. "There have only been two women in my life that I have ever considered marrying, both, unfortunately are….unavailable."

"Severus, do you…..have you ever felt….um, well….damn, what can't I just say it."

I knew what she was trying to ask me. Should I tell her, should I tell her what I have been trying to hide from myself for years? I will openly admit I loved Lily, but Lily's dead, and has been for quite some time, Ginny on the other hand is very much alive, and married to a Potter. Why is it always a Potter?

"Yes Ginny. I do love you, I have for almost thirteen years." I gave a small grin as I continued to stare into her beautiful eyes.

"Oh Severus." Suddenly she wrapped her arms around me. I wasn't expecting it, but I quickly hugged back. "I love you too."

******

To hear those words come from his lips……it was a wish I had had since we first started seeing each other thirteen years ago. Suddenly our lips touched and years of repressed passion suddenly began to fill me.

"Severus. I-I want to be with you, but…

"I know……your family." His gaze was intense, I could see the longing in his eyes, and I was pretty sure he could see it in mine as well. "What if, it is only for tonight? Just one night with the woman I love, one night with the mother of my son, just one, final, night."

I didn't even consider saying no to his request. I nodded then kissing him once again. "Where?"

"I'll get us a room."

Two hours later I was leaving the room we rented at the leaky cauldron. We had made love twice and it was beyond wonderful, it took all my strength to leave him. We confessed our love one last time before I went home to my husband, and he to the castle. I hope, that one day, he can find someone to share his life with, he deserves a happy ending.

******

**13 Years later**

I felt my wife squeeze my hand gently under the table as the first years headed into the Great Hall, our daughter among them. At first I didn't see her, she was one of the shortest in the group, poor thing inherited her mother's petite stature. Her shoulder length blond hair was down in curls, her deep brown eyes looking forwards, rather than up at the enchanted ceiling or at the older students, as most first years did. She knew this castle as well as I did, she grew up her, it was her home.

"Promise me you won't incinerate the sorting hat if she's not in Slytherin." My wife whispered.

I gave a quiet laugh. "I won't Charlotte, at least not in front of the students."

Charlotte, my beautiful wife, who is near seventeen years my junior, she has a wonderful since of humor. There's rarely a time when she cannot get at least a tiny grin from me, which believe me, is saying something. I met Charlotte just a month after that last night with Ginny. She had been hired as the new Transfiguration teacher, and still maintains that post. We had a whirlwind romance and married just six months after meeting. Our daughter was born just 10 months after that.

"Snape, Amanda."

My little trouble maker, as I affectionately call her, gave a small smile to her mother and I as she approached the stool. She then mouthed 'hi daddy' before sitting on the stool and having the hat placed on her head.

There was really little doubt in my mind that she wouldn't go to Slytherin, the girl is just like me or so my wife tells me. My son Alexander on the other hand, he may look like me but he's as smart as a whip and rarely leaves a room without a stream of laughter trailing behind him. He'll start in two years, I'm guessing Ravenclaw, but I suppose we will have to see.

"SLYTHERIN." The hat shouted. Amanda turned and winked at us before happily heading over to her table.

Do I love Charlotte? Oh yes. Do I love her in the same way I loved Lily and Ginny? No. Lily was my refuge, Ginny, my passion. Charlotte, she makes me happy, she makes me smile and laugh, and appreciate life. When she looks at me I know it's not my dark past she sees. Not that she doesn't know about it, she does; she knows I was a death eater, she is reminded of it every time she sees the faded tattoo on my left forearm, but does she remind me of it, hold it against me, I doubt the thought has ever even crossed her mind. The woman doesn't have a mean or vindictive bone in her body. I love her beyond measure, not for what she had done to my heart, but my very life.

********

My youngest wrote me today, she said that Severus' daughter was sorted into Slytherin, no surprise there. Lynnie promised me she would make an effort to get to know her, even though she was a year below her, and in a different house. I was going to tell him about her, I was about six months pregnant when I finally worked up the nerve to admit to Severus that I was about to have yet another one of his children, but when a beautiful blond woman opened his door and introduced herself as his fiancé, I chickened out. He had finally moved on, I couldn't destroy that.

He treated Albus wonderful throughout his years at Hogwarts, he had made him a prefect and in his seventh year was appointed head boy. Severus was appointed Headmaster by that point, so I highly suspect he had a big part in that decision. Lynnie looks a lot like me, in fact she a looks almost identical to Lily at her age, I suppose that's a good thing, I doubt Severus has a clue about it, or Harry for that matter, but overall I think that's for the best. I have my family and he has his, and we are both happy.

I do miss him and sometimes I wonder what if……. Then again, how does that saying go, 'Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all'. I think that's true, I wouldn't give up the memories I shared with Severus far anything, and I'm sure, he would say the same.

_Fin _

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed my ONE SHOT.**


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